But as David reminded me, this is a reminder for us that they are not ours, they are His first, and we must trust. So for the next 6-9 months we wait. They will stay with us during this process, thank God. But nothing will be decided permanently for quite some time.
I just selfishly wanted this in-between time to be over. I wanted our family to be done. I was looking forward to celebrating the completion of our family in March with the birth of our baby, and the adoption of these two before then. But in reality, when has anything happened the way I thought it should in my life? Usually it's better, so I'll trust that God has a better idea than me. And in the mean time, I will be consistently fighting to not be living in fear and anger over the next several months.