Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Give me Grace

Putting the babies to bed tonight was a little surreal. It's as if I know something I shouldn't, like I got a peak into the future. And I KNOW that tomorrow their lives will change forever.

I feel an overwhelming peace at the direction the trial will take. What I am overwhelmed with is this: they have an amazing mom. And we shouldn't have to adopt these babies, they are loved, and cared for, and right, when they are with her. And yet tomorrow she might loose all of that, and they might loose all of that, because of a choice she has made. And I can't sleep tonight, for her. I can't imagine how she could. I can't imagine how she will handle it.

I am overwhelmed with emotion, and I can't imagine how the trial will unfold, I can't imagine myself in their position. I don't think I could hold it together, I would be broken, a puddle on the floor.

As I was today... They bring the new caseworkers out to my house to "experience" the life of a foster parent. And they have to ask me questions. Today they came out and one of their questions was, "so how are you feeling about the trial tomorrow?"
And I lost it.
It's overwhelming.

Tonight as I tucked Lady in I read her her Give Me Grace book. And tomorrow's prayer was this,
"Today in the early morn make me thankful I was born. Give my spirit peace within. Let each day with hope begin."
We'll go with that.
I will be updating from court as much as I can, and as much as is appropriate, via twitter. Follow me at purvistribe.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 comment:

  1. Just the thought of loosing my baby to a stupid choice I made kills me. I am sure her heart is breaking. It is amazing that in the midst of all this you can stop and think about her. That is beautiful. What is best for the kids is obvious but that doesn't discount the overwhelming emotions she and you must be feeling. I am praying for you today.