Here's to today.

Yesterday didn't go well. Adoption is hard. And parenting is hard. And when you combine them, it's hard.

All kids have needs, some are very unique and special, most are practical and understood, some are quirky, some are unspoken, and some are laughable. Each of my children have unique needs to their person and their soul, and each of them have unique needs based on their stories, their loss, their grief, and their survival.

And I do really well meeting these needs until about 12 pm. Then I am exhausted. Which usually works out because it's almost nap time. But yesterday nap time wasn't long enough, and I was exhausted and when I react the wrong way, they spiral, and then we spiraled. And I called David at about 4, in tears, and begged him to come home. Because I needed to leave. And he did. And I did. He sent me to Starbucks with a gift card, and then called me when I got there... he had booked me a massage at our local Aveda Spa. And texted me with this... "take your time, I will have the kids in bed at 7:30 and we can have dinner without them on the front porch."

I do have the best husband in the whole world.

And after a glass of wine, a steak, and a Colorado sunset we decided a few things...

Our kids each have huge needs, huge deficits, and huge potential.

Demetrius needs one-on-one time with just me everyday.

We need to praise our children even more.

And finally, I have major issues.

So here's to today. Issues and all.

Here's to setting my alarm to waking up early, sneaking in and snuggling with D and telling him how wonderful he is.

Here's to keeping my voice down, my spirits raised, and my hopes high.

Here's to acknowledging that there is more work to do in me, than in my kitchen.

That cleaning up my heart and examining my ways is more important than cleaning the toilet, or examining the faults of my children today.

Here is to holding my children more, and my tongue even more.

And here is to learning, every day. To start new.