As Demetrius' adoption gets closer he is beginning to try and comprehend what is going on. His emotions are stirring, and it is so hard to watch.
Yesterday I was talking with a therapist he has that comes to our home. And she said, "If I had your life, I would cry all the time. Like a lot!"
That's pretty much how it is. Helping a child walk through something that is so broken, and so wrong, something that is incomprehensible to adults, and trying to help him make sense of it.
It is hard.
Lot's of times each day he asks questions like:
Are you my mom now?
Where's my other mom?
Is this my minivan?
Is Scout my dog?
I don't want you to adopt me.
I want to go to my other house.
Will you be my mom forever?
Is this my house?
Who's my cousins?
Is Papa my dad yet?
And we give him the same answers each time, every day, every time. We have to be a constant. And we have to allow him the time and the space to mourn his loss. I don't know what that looks like in his mind, but I can see it in his heart.
And we are celebrating something great, we could not be more honored and blessed to have him join us, forever and ever... But we know that for him, this comes as a result of a great loss. And we acknowledge and honor that too.