Friday, February 1, 2008

Play like a pro.

This is what I have detrmined I need to see myself as. A pro football player (And hall of famer for that matter).I need the gear for sure. I think I have as much "full contact" on my body each day as a pro football player. Mine might only be from a 25 lb. little boy, but I am only 120 lbs, and I don't get to wear pads (why did I just reveal my weight?). I think that's where I have gone worng, I need to start wearing my pads and helmet everyday! Here are some of the injurys from yesterday that I am still feeling this morning (in time sequence):

1. (Around 9 am)Lost a chunk of hair. Tre likes to grab this one spot in my hair when i am holding him, yesterday it was up in a pony tail and he still managed to tuck his little hand in there. But then the real disaster took place, I don't know if he has been watching para-trooper movies or what, but he decided he should repel himself down off my body using my hair. He grabbed his chunk and then just threw himself backwards with all his might. To his dismay I dropped him because he pulled out atleast 200 hairs (I don't know the real number, ask God He knows!) and the pain made me release! Ooopps! Needless to say my head is very sore today. Needless to say he was fine stunned, but then he looked at his hand and all the hairs in it and looked at me and said "Ohhhhhh Noooooo", which is so cute and my favorite thing he says, so I just laughed and rubbed my head for a while. (gear-Helmet would have protected me here.)

2. (Around 9:01 am) I have now recovered from the hiar loss and we are sitting down to eat our oatmeal when all of the sudden I get a spoon right in my eye, it had been thrown from across the table. (no bruising, but when I washed my face this morning, very tender.) (Face mask anyone? Plus isn't that a huge penelty, I should get an immediate 15 minute massage for this or something?)

3. (Around 10 am) Now this one is an injury resulting in continuous force... Diaper changing, this is a dangerous task with a little boy who can't sit still to poop, let alone change it. I get a constant kicking in the stomache while doing this,. Although, this has improved my ab strength. I can flex for 2 minutes straight, otherwise I get the wind knocked out of me. (gear- do they have body pads on for this type of injury?)

4. (all thoughout the day) constant accidental head butts and boob pulls. Oww! I only got one bloody nose yesterday (not even joking here). (gear- again helmet, maybe the helmet alone is the way to go!)

5. (Around 3 pm) My first bite of the day. When he is mad now he grabs my hand and places my fingers in his mouth and bites, as he is doing this I am pulling his pants down and spanking him, he is the one who ends up crying, so maybe I get a point for this one? (gear- gloves?)

6. (Around 4pm) Many injuries occur while making dinner, this is because little man wants to "help". And I end up tripping over him multiple times, yesterday as I was kneading the pizza dough, something that I thought he'd be good at, so I gave him a wooden mallet to bang it with (I know that sounds soooo dumb now, but at the time it really did seem like a great idea), the mallet slipped and hit me in the shoulder! OWWWW! (gear- shoulder pads)

Needless to say I do feel like John Elway in this picture when I am putting Tre to bed. (Tre's the ball) I am cradeling him under my arms, Jumping over anythign that get's in my way (mostly tractors, books, and large stuffed animals), victorious! AS my fans (David) cheer me on from teh sidelines. We have made it through another day, another learning experience, another day of pure discovery and delight for my little man (minus the few spankings throughout the day). SCORE! (gear- priceless!)

Maybe I should design fashionable body armour for mom's of boys. One thing I do have and use ALL the time, a little ear piece that connects me with the Boss, so He could tell me what my next move should be...... prayer! All mom's are definitely pros, that's for darn sure!
(Note: I know it is weird for a mom to be comparing herself to a pro football player, I do realize this, I guess I just really love football and during this time of loss as the super bowl arrives and the Broncos are NO WHERE in sight I thought I would bring back a few of our good times! PPS- I got Tre some AWESOME broncos gear on triple clearance, and the lady said, "wow I can't believe you are buying this it is pretty hard to be a Broncos fan right now." I just looked at her and smiled, inside I was thinking, "if you are truly a broncos fan it is never hard!"

1 comment:

  1. 1) john elway is king of the world. and we already have two broncos outfits and a pair of broncos shoes.
    2) that my kid already kicked me in the head from inside the womb is an indication of future heavy equipment needs.