This is not me.

You know when you make those definitive statements in life, those proclamations that you swear by. Especially as a teenager, I swore I would never have kids. And I swore I would go to college far from home. And that I would never tell my husband no when he wanted to have sex:)And I continually proclaim that I will never homeschool... I am not sure why I continue to make such proclamations:)

Today I started homeschooling Tre. I'm not sure if it will even last to Wednesday but today during nap time we wrote five letters about twenty times, and we did Brain Quest flash cards. And then I wrote numbers and he had to tell me what numbers they were. It was riveting, and I am TOTALLY not gifted at this. And I have absolutely no idea where to even begin! I am not prepared, I am not even sure what to do. But we decided late last night, he can't go back to school, at least not right now.

I asked him to make a list of things he would like to learn this year, and here is what I got:

- football

- baseball

- how to shoot a sling shot

- how to shoot a gun

- how to tell time

No wonder school isn't going well.

Our school lasted about one hour. And he kept asking me when it was recess, and if he could call me teacher.

You see, Tre has been getting in to some trouble at school, and is overall, just not himself since school began. And I can't seem to shake the feeling, no matter how many moms tell me their little guys are struggling too, that we are trying to fit little boys into a system that is not meant for little boys.

Tre has(or had, if we're pulling him) the sweetest most kind teacher we could have asked for. She is a miracle worker, and so gifted. So it is not her. It's Tre, and probably other "just turned five" year old boys who are asked to sit down and do work sheets and color for multiple hours a day. Especially those who have trouble holding a pencil or crayon due to birth defects.

So for now, he's staying home. Till we can figure out what we're doing. Because honestly, I am not really up for home schooling. But I am even more disgusted by the thought of my little boy coming home everyday feeling inadequate and mischevious, because he hates coloring and can't sit and be quiet all day.

Our main educational goal for our children is this... that they LOVE to learn. And Tre has not gotten off in that direction. So no matter what that means, we will search out the right place for him, and ensure that learning is a passion for him.

And yet another journey...