We live on one of the busy streets in our town, so I get to people watch all day! Just now as I was scrubbing macaroni and cheese, apple sauce, and who knows what other dried foods from my kitchen table I saw a beautiful woman drive by. She had her windows down, the wind was blowing through her hair, she was dressed really nice, and she had a big smile on her face. And I quickly remembered that feeling of driving home pre-kids on a Friday (summer) afternoon. And it was the best feeling in the world. The feeling of accomplishment, you had just finished everything you needed to, you were going home to freedom, fun, and relaxation.
Friday drive homes, there was nothing better in the world.
And as I stood scraping unknown substances with my fingernails from my table, in the same shorts I've worn for several days, and a baby on my hip. I was jealous.
As a mom it is really hard to feel that sense of accomplishment, as our work is not so measurable right now, and definitely not so glamorous. And there is never a "drive of freedom" where we are leaving our work behind us, with a sense of accomplishment and freedom. In fact motherhood is usually plagued with guilt, bewilderment, and frustration at the "lack of results". And it is definitely not glamorous.
I actually find Fridays the worst day of the week these days, I think because I still somehow expect to feel that TGIF feeling I use to have. Yet I am always disappointed that it is no different than other day for me so I end the afternoon a bit disappointed... I don't get to drive away from all this right now with a sense of accomplishment. (I think I have to wait for that drive when I leave them at college, and yet I KNOW it will feel nothing like my old Friday drive home.)
In fact as I type this I just heard Demetrius flat out lie and tell Tre I ate all of the peanut butter balls (and I watched him do it). And Lady Lou threw her string cheese across the basement because she couldn't get it open. And Nugget just threw up. So I will day dream of being a career woman driving into freedom, as I go deal with my little miracles...
(And please hear me, I know this is a gift and this time is precious, and I am so blessed to be able to stay home and raise our children, and that the effort is invaluable. But I miss the Friday Freedom feeling:)