At our small group in CORE last week we talked about being in the middle of the sea, like the disciples, they were half way out into the sea when the storm swept them up and they began to panic, it was at this point that they had to focus on Jesus who, once identified and trusted, immediately took them to the other side. We were asked, by our wise and handsome leader, to identify what areas in our life we needed immediate transport. Where are you out to sea with a storm raging all around. And how can you focus on God and release fear in this area?
Our group had an awesome time sharing and praying for one another. But when it came to my turn I said, "I feel as if I am out on a paddle boat, I am paddling out to the middle of the sea, ad I am waiting for my ship to come. I am waiting here in the sea, in my little paddle boat, waiting for my battle ship to come. I am looking for it, but I don't see it yet.
I feel as if in my life right now I am waiting on God. I know there are big passions and desires in my heart, there are things in this world that aren't right. There are things in this world that are broken, things that I feel uniquely gifted to contribute to a solution. But I haven't gotten the okay to board those ships yet.
This quote from my book is how I feel. (emphasis added by me.)
"I was watching the movie Star Wars recently and wondered what made the movie so good... And I noticed that if I paused the DVD on any frame, I could point toward any of the major characters and say exactly what that person wanted. No character had a vague ambition. It made me wander if the reasons our lives seem so muddled is because we keep walking into scenes in which we, along with the people around us, have no clear idea what we want."
- Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years