I'm on vacation.
It's been a whole thirty minutes, I already feel like a new woman.
I don't think I've ever wanted to run so fast. From the dirty mini van to the curb side check in line, I think that's how Jesus felt walking out of the tomb. I have been resurrected.
I've never needed a vacation so bad.
It was somewhere between the long days and nights alone with five children, the four sickies, the clingy two year old, the weaning, the all nighters, the constant cleaning, and the Colorado teasers of spring then winter spring then winter, that I broke.
I looked at David last week and said, "I have to run away."
Then he looked at me and said, "We're going to California next week. Does that work?"
He even planned all the child care.
It must have been obvious that I had to escape.
I heard these actual words come out of my mouth last week,
"Please don't ask any more questions, ever again. Okay Demetrius?"
I told Tre on Monday afternoon, "Sure you can play the iPad until Papa comes home on Wednesday."
I even asked Laila(3) to babysit Charli (12 months) in her room during nap time so I could take a nap.
It was time.
I still wrote six pages of detailed notes for my amazing friends who are watching all my kids. I did all the laundry. And magically changed the entire Roman calendar in order to celebrate Easter yesterday with the kids.
And now I'm free.
Four of the children have ear infections. I took them all to the doctor this week and prepped the nurses and doctor for visits from my friends this week... Because it wouldn't be an escape if they weren't all sick right?
You won't believe this:
There are children all over the airport. I don't know why people would ever travel with children. Don't they know I'm on a getaway? I wish there was an adults only lounge. Not a seedy one. Just one where there were no crying babies...
I love being a mom. But maybe it's because of my deep love for it, my "calling" if you will, that I sometimes look out and realize I am getting lost in it. Because being a mom is like no other job in the world. It requires a sense of selflessness like nothing else, except maybe Jesus' job.
And I think as a result of the selflessness that is required of women who are moms, we often forget who we are apart from it. And that is not good. We are women. The women our husbands fell in love with. Women who have a world to affect, apart from just the world of our children.
And so I am taking a few days to remember those things. The things I dream about doing in another five years or so. The things God has deposited in my spirit. Reigniting my passions, dreams, and desires apart from my children. And I know that upon returning I will be renewed, and I will also be a better mom.
Because even Jesus took time to renew and refresh, even he asked people to watch out for him while he went to the garden to pray. So if he needed it. How much more do we?
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